Female orgasm
Since the 1960’s, when Kinsey
began to bring sex out of the closet, there has
been such a great deal of open discussion
centred around the female orgasm that many
women feel under intense pressure to 'perform'. If
you feel your partner is comparing you to
previous lovers, or to an orgasmic ideal in his
head, it detracts from the intimate pleasure of sex
and turns it into a competition.
Many women are
bothered by the idea that there may be
two types of orgasm - vaginal and clitoral. They
wonder whether the orgasms they are
experiencing are 'the real thing'. But are there
really two types of orgasm? It was Freud who first
suggested that there were. He said that the
orgasm experienced through clitoral stimulation
was the precursor of a deeper, more satisfying
orgasm experienced in the vagina during
penetration by the penis. According to him, the
vaginal orgasm was a 'true, mature' sexual
response, while the clitoral orgasm was its
immature inferior. The value judgements Freud
and his followers placed on the two types of
orgasm have caused a lot of unhappiness among
some women who never experience orgasm
during penetration. They feel that they are
missing out, and are therefore inadequate: less
than 'real women'.
Researchers into sexual
response have been much concerned
with the categorization of the female orgasm
since Freud's time. Kinsey's view was that there
was only one type of orgasm, that it was
triggered by clitoral stimulation and involved
contractions of all parts of the female body,
including the vagina. He could not distinguish a
second type of orgasm that centered solely on
the vagina, and he utterly refuted Freud's
distinction between 'mature' and 'immature'
orgasms.
Subsequent clinical
evidence has proved conclusively that
Kinsey was right, and now sexologists are
generally agreed that an orgasm is an orgasm.
Researcher Helen Kaplan has come to this
conclusion: 'Regardless of how friction is applied
to the clitoris, i.e. by the tongue, by the woman's
finger or her partner's, by a vibrator, or by coitus,
female orgasm is probably always evoked by
clitoral stimulation. However, it is always
expressed by circurnvaginal muscle discharge.'
Although all orgasms
are equal, women do report different
sensations according to whether they are being
penetrated or masturbated. And the surprise is
that masturbatory orgasms, which are
experienced by all women who can teach
themselves to come through masturbation, alone
or with a partner, are the more pleasurably acute.
All women who orgasm in this way know the
acute tension of the clitoris. The voluptuous
rushing sensation that breaks into multiple
contractions of the surrounding tissue. A small
minority of women (around 20 per cent,
according to sex researcher Shere Hite), who
also orgasm with a penis inside the vagina,
describe that as a quite different experience.
Although Freud claimed that orgasms during
intercourse were superior, the majority of women
in a survey carried out by Shere Hite said they
were less intense. Whereas masturbatory
orgasm is experienced as a high, sweet, rippling
sensation, the peak of sensitivity, orgasm with
penetration is like the boom of a distant
explosion, powerful, but somewhat muffled.
Orgasms triggered by the
partner's fingers or tongue, and by masturbation,
are probably more intense because stimulation is
more localized and more sensitively guided.
Masters and Johnson reported stronger
contraction spasms and higher rates of heartbeat
during orgasm without intercourse, and especially
during masturbation, and many women confirmed
that they had their best orgasms when alone.
Orgasm during penetration is undoubtedly quite
rare for many women because a thrusting penis
can stimulate the clitoris only 'in passing', if at all,
depending on the position of the couple. The
orgasm experienced may be more diffuse
because the penis alters the focus of attention
from the clitoris to the whole of the lower part of
the woman's body, and because the vagina is full
‘muffling' the sensation.
A simultaneous orgasm,
when both partners come together during
penetration, may feel like a surprisingly big
underground explosion, but it probably offers the
least in terms of sensual awareness. The reason
for this is that if both parties are focused on their
own experience or 'black-out' and become
oblivious of each other, the sensation of the
partner's orgasm is largely lost. For a woman,
simultaneous orgasm is often followed by a
feeling of disorientation, and a disappointment
that lovemaking has come to an end.
Orgasm during
intercourse is often less acute.
However, many of the women who are able to
experience it prefer it for emotional reasons,
because it involves complete body-to-body
contact, holding the partner and giving oneself to
him at the same time. Feeling whole and loved
and emotionally satisfied are important aspects of
a good sexual relationship, but these feelings can
be experienced whether orgasm takes place
during intercourse or not. What is important is
that women should experience regular
masturbatory orgasms. Orgasm relieves tension,
recharges the body and revitalizes the mind. It
leaves the woman feeling sparkling and whole.
When shared with a partner, it represents the
peak of sexual fulfillment and can be a powerful
expression of love, helping to unite the couple.
Multiple and sequential
orgasms, like vaginal and clitoral
orgasms, are concepts which have caused a lot
of confusion and left many women worried that
their sexual response might be somewhat
inadequate. Because orgasms come in waves,
some women are not even sure whether their
orgasms are multiple or single. Multiple orgasms
are those that are experienced in a chain, one
directly after another; sequential orgasms are
those with a gap of a few minutes between each
one. It seems that true multiple orgasm is
extremely rare, although many women are
capable of sequential orgasm.
On the topic of multiple
orgasm, Masters and Johnson wrote: "If
a female who is capable of having regular
orgasms is properly stimulated within a short
period after her first climax, she will in most
instances be capable of having a second, third,
fourth, and even a fifth and sixth orgasm before
she is fully satiated. As contrasted with the male's
usual inability to have more than one orgasm in a
short period, many females, especially when
clitorally stimulated, can regularly have five or six
full orgasms within a matter of minutes."
Being capable of six
orgasms in a row is not the
same as needing or even wanting that many.
According to Shere Hite, about 90 per cent of
women who orgasm feel completely satisfied with
a single climax. And in many women the clitoris
remains hypersensitive, and further stimulation is
uncomfortable and can even prove painful.