Kissing
There is an infinite
variety of kisses that lovers can
exchange, from playful or tender lip kissing to
deeply arousing open-mouth kissing with tongue
play. Kissing someone you are mad about is one
of life's great pleasures - or should be.
Surprisingly large numbers of people have no
idea how to kiss, and a poor kisser can be a
terrible disappointment, just as someone who is a
skilled practitioner of the art of kissing can have
you tearing off your clothes.
The lovers' kiss or French kiss,
involving the whole mouth and tongue, is said to
have its origins the way mothers used to feed
their babies in prehistoric cultures. This practice
can be observed in peasant communities in some
parts of Europe even today. The mother chews
the food for her baby before transferring it directly
from mouth to mouth She pushes her tongue,
and the food, inside the infant's mouth, and it
reacts with searching movements of its tongue
inside her mouth. Considerations of hygiene and
today's associations of mouth-to-mouth contact
with sexual arousal make this type of feeding
unacceptable in our society, but the action lives
on in adult erotic behavior.
A deep kiss is very often the first
mutual acknowledgement that sexual attraction
exists between a couple, and it is the first
element of sexuality to disappear from a
relationship that is on the wane. According to
Relate (the British Marriage Guidance Bureau),
couples whose marriages are in trouble are more
likely to have intercourse than to kiss. That mouth
and tongue contact retains a special intimacy
while intercourse can seem businesslike and
remote is also illustrated by the fact that
prostitutes never kiss their clients.
The first thing to do when
kissing a new lover is to find out with your lips
and tongue where his or her teeth are, so you
can avoid banging into them with your own teeth.
Clashing teeth is as impersonal as clashing
spectacle frames. The next thing to remember is
that kissing should be wildly exciting: don't get
stuck in a rut endlessly repeating the same
movement, or your partner will lose concentration
and grow bored. Vary the pace, and vary the
initiative, sometimes taking it, sometimes being
receptive to your partner.
Here are a few tips for more
enjoyable kissing:
* If your new partner does
not smoke and you do, now would be a very
good time to give up the habit. Non-smokers do
not like the taste or smell of tobacco.
* Until you have got to
know someone well and they
have assured you they don't mind it, don't eat
strong tasting food, such as garlic or curry,
unless your lover is eating it too.
* Oral hygiene is important. Make
sure your mouth looks and tastes good. Get your
dentist to de-scale your teeth regularly and eat a
healthy diet so that your breath is fresh.
* Don't kiss or have oral sex if you
have a mouth or throat infection. Kissing can
transfer an estimated 250 different bacteria and
viruses carried in saliva, though as yet there is no
evidence to suggest that AIDS can be caught in
this way.
* Being kissed
passionately by a man with a
stubble chin is not anywhere near as erotic as
being kissed passionately by a man who has
recently shaved.
* If you have a beard,
consider the fact that it makes a barrier between
your skin and your lover's. There is no doubt that
more erotic contact is possible between a
clean-shaven man and his partner.
* Women who wear
make-up should be prepared to have it
licked off or, at the very least, smudged. Consider
how you feel about this before applying your
make-up, but whatever you do, don't let yourself
be inhibited by a perfectly painted face. Many
men would prefer to kiss a face bare of make-up
anyway.
* To maximize sensation
when kissing, make full use of all the muscles in
your mouth and tongue. it is much better kissing
someone whose mouth responds to yours and
who knows how to use pressure, than someone
whose mouth is flabby and slack.
* Remember that nothing, but
nothing, is worse than a slobbery kiss.